This chimera of Western astrology and McFengshui was invented and trademarked by Ellen Whitehurst, a Western astrologer. It is strictly for entertainment, because it was unable to predict some of the big issues of the times — including the global financial crisis.
Let’s look at its accuracy rate for a particularly powerful month (April 2008) for the United States, born under the sign of Cancer. Whitehurst’s “forecast” is quite ironic.
|What she says||Reality Check|
|April 2008: CancerSPRING into personal pro-action [sic] because by mid month ALL eyes are going to be on you!||The economic downturn takes more casualties. Alcoa profits drop 54 percent, AMD forecasts a bad first quarter and lays off 10 percent of its workforce. Citigroup reports a $5.11 billion loss in its first quarter. GE misses its quarterly targets. Linens ‚Äôn Things prepares for bankruptcy. Blockbuster offers to buy Circuit City. Wachovia posts a $393 million loss. JPMorgan reports a 50 percent drop in profits. Ambac posts a huge loss. Merrill Lynch posts its third straight quarterly loss and fires 4,000 workers. Four airlines go bankrupt. Others talk merger. It appears that the era of cheap flights is over.All children are removed from the Yearning for Zion Ranch, home of a cult with ties to Mormonism. About half of the teenaged girls have children or are pregnant. It appears that there are very few boys their age in this religion.The U.S. faces the “worst food-price inflation in more than a decade,” says Jeffrey Strain. Using grains to make biofuels is contributing to high prices, shortages, and food riots around the world. Because of shortages and failed harvests, wheat and rice are now rationed in the U.S.Gasoline in some locations passes $4 a gallon.|
|Then, screw up your confidence to nail a once in a lifetime opportunity that hammers at your doorstep around the Aries New Moon of April 5.||Would this be the bankruptcy of ATA, the FLDS raid, or … ?|
|This Moon shines its brilliant light right into your 10th House of Fame and Honors and promises that by month‚Äôs end both of those intangibles will tangibly be hanging alongside any and all other personal promotions that have ever been heaped upon you.||God only knows what this is supposed to mean. It has nothing to do with the month most Americans experienced. Maybe it has to do with the Austrian man who confessed to keeping daughter as a sex slave for 24 years in the cellar of the family home in Austria.|
|This is it, the month you have been praying for. …||Oh, sure.|
|Your Shui:There was only one single “cure” that came to mind as I assessed all the astrological creamy goodness that could possibly be yours this month and it continues to lubricate every idea I have regarding you taking advantage of the most excellent creative and career opportunities that are coming due you.||“Creamy goodness”? “Lubricate every idea”? A poor imitation of the florid prose of Helen Gurley Brown.It makes me feel like I should use Nolvasan as a gargle and bath soap.|
|Add three dried and crushed bay leaves along with either the powdered resins or 10 drops of true essential oils of both frankincense and sandalwood along with six drops of vetiver essential oil to a blend of sunflower, olive and/or jojoba oil. Keep this mix as a special massage oil that you use after every bath or shower that you take this during these early days of Spring. It’s especially critical that you remember to wear this tincture of true success on and around April 5 to take full advantage of the glorious New Moon. This specific Feng Shui secret will guarantee that you slip into your success easily and with great fanfare and fun! A soluble solution for all that ails you.||Of course this has nothing to do with feng shui. It’s a pseudo-aromatherapy mashup with Western occultism.I don’t think it will help the food shortages.|